The Wolf Siren Read online

  Lilly would once again be nothing more than a lab rat.

  The thought of this made his gut twist. He couldn’t let anything like that happen to her. Not only would he have to protect her from the Sanctuary fanatics who were searching for her, but from her own, inner psyche. Damn.

  “Sit.” Releasing her, he indicated the rocking chair. He waited until she was seated before lowering his bulk into the one next to her. “How much did they tell you?”

  “About what they were doing to me?” Her full lower lip trembled, giving him the urge to softly run his thumb over it. “They taunted me with it every day. But I don’t have any idea what was truth and what was lies.”

  He saw agitation boiling up under her outward demeanor. While he desperately wanted to know, gut instinct told him that here, he needed to go slow.

  “It’s not your fault.” Reaching over, he gave her shoulder an awkward pat, aware what he really wanted to do was pull her onto his lap and hold her. Kiss her. And more.

  Dammit. He shut the thought down. “You can tell me more when you think you’re up to it,” he said, feeling the warmth of her grateful smile.

  “There’s not much more to tell. They barely spoke to me, except when they prayed for the demons to release their hold on my soul.”

  He shuddered. “You do know they are insane, right?”

  As she stared at him, one corner of her mouth lifted in the beginning of a smile. “The longer I’m away from them, the more I’ve come to see this.”

  He refused to let himself smile back. Pushing up from the stool, he moved toward the bathroom. “Let me get cleaned up, and then I’ll help you make something to eat.”

  * * *

  Lilly refused to let Kane help with the cooking. She wanted to try out her extremely limited culinary skills. She made grilled cheese sandwiches and canned tomato soup for their dinner. Kane devoured his with as much pleasure as if she’d prepared a gourmet feast. She found herself watching him instead of eating, wishing she could take that much pleasure in something. She’d bet he dreamed in vivid color rather than the muted shades of gray that made up her own dreams.

  “How about we pay a visit to my family?”

  His voice, deliberately casual, startled her. She’d just carried the plates to the sink and started cleaning up the kitchen after their meal.

  “Your family?” Stalling, she couldn’t come out and tell him how much his boisterous kinfolk frightened her. Anyway, she guessed he already knew.

  “We can’t avoid them the entire time we’re here,” he pointed out, still sounding calm and reasonable. “If we try, they’re just going to show up here at our cabin. I’d rather keep what privacy we have and meet them on their own turf.”

  Put that way, she understood. “I don’t mean to be so...”

  “It’s okay.” He squeezed her shoulder, a friendly touch which reassured her. “I promise they don’t bite.”

  Again, the image of a wolf, jaws open, sharp teeth gleaming, flashed into her mind. She couldn’t help but shudder, wondering how they dealt with such a vicious animal inside them. She’d tried to talk to her brother about that, but Lucas hadn’t understood and she’d given up. Since then, she’d known better than to try to explain her feelings to anyone, including the therapist she’d seen in Seattle several times.

  She sure as heck wasn’t mentioning it to Kane.

  “All right,” she finally said. “Let’s go.”

  At least this time, they were headed up to the main house after the rest of the family was sure to have finished eating.

  She liked that he also knew when to be quiet. They set out side-by-side from their cabin, each lost in their own thoughts. She could tell he also enjoyed the myriad of sounds that meant the wood creatures were awakening and felt no need to warn the animals of their presence with needless chatter.

  The feeling of companionship, of kinship with this tall, muscular man—though it puzzled her if she thought too hard about it—was something to be savored and appreciated.

  As they rounded the corner in the path, side-by-side, the front door opened and several of the older children spilled out. Laughing and jumping and wrestling, they chased each other on the small patch of lawn, weaving in and out of the trees.

  The adults followed, moving more slowly, but talking and gesturing with as much animation. Kane’s family lived with vibrancy and a love of life they were willing to share with anyone lucky enough to pass into their orbit. They’d certainly reached out and welcomed her time and time again, undeterred by her repeated efforts to distance herself. Sometimes she thought they somehow knew how badly she wanted to share in their world and how badly her fear held her back.

  No one had noticed Kane and Lilly yet. They were moving toward a footpath that led through the trees up a hill to the east of the main house, talking and joking. The scent of pipe tobacco drifted back from Kane’s father’s pipe.

  Kane watched his family with a sort of bemused envy. She guessed he badly wanted to go with them, whereever they were headed.

  “What’s going on?” Lilly asked, frowning. “It’ll be twilight soon.”

  He glanced at her, the light in his eyes fading. “They’re heading up to a part of the woods that adjoins the Catskill Forest Preserve. It’s really isolated and not accessible by vehicle.”

  “Why? To hike? Do you want to join them?”

  Slowly he shook his head, never taking his gaze off her. “No. I completely forgot that they told me they’re going into the forest to change tonight. You know, shape-shift into wolves. They invited us to join them, but after your reaction last time, I said no.”

  She stared, ignoring the tiny flutter of panic. “I can’t...” she said, expecting him to try to change her mind.

  Instead, he nodded. “I know. It’s okay. Everything will come with time.”

  Not this, she vowed silently. He and his family had no idea what kind of thing lived inside of her. Nor would they ever find out, at least as long as she drew breath.

  Together they watched silently as his family trouped up the hill and vanished from sight. Lilly found herself wishing she had enough nerve to take his hand.

  “Come on,” he said, as the last person disappeared over the hill. “How about you and I do a bit of exploring on our own?”

  Another frisson of fear. “Won’t we get in their way? I’d hate to run into them.”

  A shadow crossed his face. Regret? She wasn’t sure.

  “We won’t. They’ll be far enough that we shouldn’t, but just to make certain, we’ll go the opposite direction. Don’t worry, I’m familiar enough with these woods that we won’t have a problem.”

  Aware he was making sacrifices for her, she shook her head. “Why don’t you go and join them. I promise I’ll go back to our cabin and wait for you.”

  “Absolutely not.” He didn’t even hesitate. “I’m not leaving you here alone.” Glancing at the house, he flashed a smile. “I have an idea. We’ll grab a few things from the house—I know my mother baked lots of treats—and we’ll have a hike and a dessert picnic. Desserts and champagne. Would you like that?”

  Her heart melted at his almost boyish eagerness. Still, she hesitated. “It’s going to be dark soon.”

  “So? We’ve got flashlights and lanterns. Plus the moon’s still close to full. It’ll provide a lot of light.”

  Though she had her misgivings, she had to admit it sounded like fun. Or at least better than another night alone with him in the cabin, each of them trying too hard to be like friends. “Okay.”

  “Great!” Grabbing her hand, he tugged her toward the main house. “This is going to be awesome.”

  His enthusiasm appeared to be contagious. Heart skipping, she let him pull her. They hurried along, through the front door, toward the kitchen. Passing the main refrigerator, he headed toward the laundry room. “She keeps a second one in here,” he said. Sure enough, there was another one nearly as big as the first.

  He let go of her hand to open
the stainless-steel door. “Jackpot!”

  Inside were cakes, pies and assorted other sweets. She counted at least four kinds of cookies, chocolate-covered strawberries, which made her mouth water, and what looked like custards and puddings or flan.

  “My goodness. There’s enough here to feed a small army.”

  His grin widened. “Exactly.”

  “Are you sure she won’t mind?”

  “Are you kidding me?” He shook his head, continuing before she could even answer. “This is what my mom lives for. She loves to cook and bake, and feeding people is her vocation. So look around and pick out whatever you’d like.”

  While she deliberated, he grabbed a basket from a stack on a shelf. “She keeps these here in case any of her kids or grandkids want to take food home or have a picnic.”

  Inside, she saw a red-checked cloth, plastic cutlery, paper plates and napkins. “Ready-made picnic?”

  “Yep.”

  She picked out a few things that looked appetizing, including the chocolate-covered strawberries, then backed away and let him choose the rest. He grabbed a bottle of champagne from the door of the fridge, two plastic glasses and a corkscrew, and closed the basket.

  “All ready.” He sounded so happy, she couldn’t help but smile.

  “I wouldn’t peg you for someone with a sweet tooth,” she commented.

  His only response was a conspiratorial grin.

  Once outside again, he led her in the opposite direction from that his family had gone in. This helped quell some of her nervousness. “How much land does your family own?”

  “Forty acres. And beyond that is the Catskill Forest Preserve. So we’re pretty isolated out here.”

  Which she supposed was good if one was a Shape-shifter.

  “What about the people who live in town? Where do they go when they want to change into wolves?”

  “The preserve, mostly. No one would trespass on our land without being invited.”

  Though she knew he’d added the last to reassure her, she couldn’t help but glance out into the thick forest. They reached a clearing, a small glade really, with a couple of large boulders stacked on top of each other.

  “Here we are.” He set down the basket. “When I was a kid, I loved to use this rock as my own personal fort.”

  Helping her up, she marveled at the way her skin seemed to tingle where his hands touched. He passed her the basket, which was surprisingly heavy, before climbing up and joining her.

  Once he’d gotten settled, he spread the checkered cloth on the flat part of the rock, placed a few paper plates, and then removed all the delicacies he’d packed in the basket. Once they were all on display, in their delectable, tempting beauty, he popped the cork on the champagne.

  “Only a small glass for me,” she cautioned, as she popped a chocolate-covered strawberry into her mouth.

  Ignoring her, he filled the plastic glass before handing it to her. “Here you go.”

  She watched as he sampled one of everything, finally settling on a large slice of cheesecake. He ate with relish, the way he did everything, and she enjoyed watching him.

  After eating a couple more strawberries and taking a few more sips of champagne, she settled with her back against the large boulder, and looked around at the wilderness. “Will you be able to find our way back once it gets dark?”

  For an answer, he reached inside the basket and brought out a flashlight. “Yep, with this to help us.”

  Before she could respond, a howl drifted on the breeze, otherworldly and eerie. The sound sent a shiver up her spine.

  Kane noticed. “No worries. They’re a good distance away.”

  Glancing at him, she nodded. Then she took a second look. His aura...for a moment the vague glow had coalesced, resembling one of the wolves that haunted her dreams.

  “Are you...” Hesitant, she asked, “Are you okay?”

  One dark brow rose. “Sure. Are you?”

  His profile seemed to waver, flashing from human to wolf and back again. Suddenly nervous again, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was about to change shape. She didn’t know how she’d react to this, and she really didn’t want to find out.

  More howls, several together, the sound rising and falling and drifting into the air.

  The monster inside her woke, stretching, reaching out with razor-sharp claws. Reacting.

  She swallowed hard and slammed down her mental prison. “What’s going on?” she asked, unable to keep the rising panic out of her voice. “Are you about to shift into a wolf? Is the sound of your family as wolves affecting you?”

  “Maybe a little,” he admitted. “But it’s all right. I’ll change later, after you go to sleep. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go all lupine on you.”

  “Lupine?” And then she knew. The word meant wolf.

  A veritable chorus of howls made talking difficult. “I don’t know about you,” she said, her breath catching. “But I think they’re getting closer.”

  He cocked his head, listening. “Maybe you’re right. Though that doesn’t make sense. We never venture over this way unless...”

  Twisting her hands in her lap, she waited for him to finish. When he didn’t, she prodded him. “Unless what?”

  Unfolding his long legs, he pushed up from the ground, holding out his hand and pulling her to her feet. “Unless they’re following prey. They’re hunting after all. Come on, I’d better get you back to the cabin.”

  Blind terror made it difficult to see. She hated this about herself. Despised the unreasonable panic, the character flaw that had taken away any backbone she might have once had. Intellectually, she knew this was due to years of conditioning and suffering as Jacob Gideon’s captive, but emotionally the frustration could be overwhelming.

  Worse, the instant she let down her guard, the thing inside her tried to fight its way free.

  “No.” Gripping Kane’s hand, she leaned into him, taking strength from the warmth of his body.

  “You don’t want to go?” Sounding surprised, he squinted at her. “I mean, I know they wouldn’t hurt you, but I thought you...”

  His words barely registered as she struggled internally. Heaven help them all if her monster managed to break free around anyone else. It had happened once, in the lab. Before they’d shot the tranquilizer dart into her, she’d killed two lab technicians and a doctor. Worse, she had absolutely no memory of doing it.

  The numerous tortures that followed had ensured she’d been well and painfully punished for that.

  She wouldn’t change, couldn’t allow the beast inside her to win. Not now, not ever. But was she strong enough to hold it back when it had become this determined?

  “Help. Me.” She pushed the words from her, reaching out blindly, hoping and praying she could somehow add his strength to her own.

  More howls. The sound excited her beast, energizing it and encouraging it to double the attempt to force her to change.

  She felt her bones begin to lengthen. “No,” she cried, writhing in pain. “I can’t let this happen.”

  At that, he pulled her close, wrapping his strong arms around her. Her inner animal didn’t know how to react to this, and Lilly seized this advantage to force it back inside its mental cage.

  As she struggled, Kane continued to hold her. Gradually, she became aware of the sound of his heartbeat under her ear.

  “Shh.” His large hand swept over her hair. “It’s all right. I won’t let anything happen to you, I swear.”

  Did he still think his family’s wolf howls frightened her? The next second, she had her answer.

  “Lilly, if you want to change, I’ll help you. I can stay human if you’d like, or change right along with you.”

  Horrified, she pushed him away. “You have no idea what you’re saying.”

  “I think I do. Your inner wolf responded to the sound of the howls. That’s all right—mine did, too. I know it’s been a while for you and Lucas also told me how those idiots at Sanctuary condit
ioned you to think shape-shifting was evil. I promise you, once you let yourself go, release your wolf, you’ll feel better. You’ll see. You’ll feel like a different person.”

  “There is no wolf,” she told him, her voice flat. “That’s what you and my brother don’t understand. The people of Sanctuary killed it. They destroyed my wolf and left something twisted and misshapen in its place. I’ve seen it and I promise you, it’s truly hideous.”

  He stared at her. Was that pity she saw in his handsome face? She knew he thought she was crazy. She’d seen the exact same expression in her brother’s eyes when she’d attempted to explain it to him.

  Turning away, she shook her head, swiping at the lone tear that escaped from her eye. He didn’t understand. How could he? He hadn’t been there to see. All those that had been were now dead or in prison.

  Except for the three that hunted her still.

  A shudder wracked her. Once more, her monster snarled and tested the edge of its cage, which thankfully held. “I’d like to go back now,” she said, ice in her voice and her spine. “If you want to stay out here and try to find your family, I’m sure I can make my way back alone.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  She glanced at him, and a growl split the air in the underbrush nearby them. Instinctively, they both turned.

  Something—a black blur—launched itself out of the bushes at them.

  Kane snarled as his human form wavered. Hands up, he caught the thing, holding it away from him as it made rumble sounds and bared its tiny, sharp, white teeth.

  “A wolf pup,” he said, sounding relieved. “One of the youngsters must have wandered away from the pack.”

  He held the squirming creature up, revealing a small, furry thing whose fierce show of bravado changed to wiggling, tail wagging, submissive friendliness.

  “My nephew Reggie.” Shaking his head, he set the puppy on the ground. It sat, panting, tongue lolling.

  “Your mother is going to be very upset with you,” Kane admonished. “You may as well change back to a boy.”